Early one morning Karen woke up to a text message from a guy she was getting to know. The text message suggested that a statement she made was not true. Being an honest and upfront individual Karen found this accusation absurd and somewhat offensive. She felt tension from the statement due to the fact that she had not given this individual any reason to question whether she was not a woman of her word. So to avoid further confusion she picked up her phone to call him to get a better understanding of why he felt this type of way.
To her surprise he did not answer the phone the first time she called. He went as far as to not answer the phone the second time either. Not wanting to give up as she has heard many of her friends do when adversity arrives she made a third attempt and as many have said, “it is usually the charm”. She instantly noticed that as the gentleman answered the phone he obviously had frustration in his voice and seemed a bit irritated. So in an attempt to remain calm she asked him politely, “what was he talking about”?
He began to convey to Karen the words she professed to him. He emphatically attacked her criticizing her character and loyalty. He attempted to insult her personally, however Karen immediately stopped him and redirected his attention back to the matter at hand. Once she repeated what she stated and allowed him to clearly understand what she said he realized that he simply took her statement and comment the wrong way.
He realized that she was right and he was totally wrong.
However, he did not immediately seek to apologize to her for his actions and behavior. This frustrated Karen because she could not realize how he could not understand that once you are wrong it is your obligation and duty to make the situation right. The conversation continued and Karen’s frustration was growing. She began to explain to him in "so many words" she was waiting to hear and apology. The gentleman finally apologized and they both went on with their day.
Prior to this incident the gentleman would reach out to Karen throughout the day on a consistent basis, yet on this day his efforts severely slowed and became stagnant. Karen felt that it was not her duty to regain the connection they once had as he was the one who destroyed it, however being unselfish she attempted to reach out to him anyway. The day goes by and the communication was minimal.
The next day Karen sent a text message stating that she did not understand his behavior and was not going to give more to move on from a negative situation that she did not create. He was not willing to compromise and did not desire to see her point of view. The gentleman was not interested in an attempt to feel how she felt from her perspective so the potential connection died.
Karen was somewhat relieved because even though this guy had a lot of potential she did not want to engage in a relationship with someone who could not acknowledge their wrong doings. More than anything she did not want to be with a person who could not put his pride and ego aside to put forth the effort to make it right. After reflecting on the situation she felt she made the right decision to move on.
LST-ISM: How can a person expect another person to bring more energy and effort to revive a LIFELINE that they did not cause to FLATLINE...?? The main ingredient that distinguishes a child from an adult is their maturity level. Being able to take ownership and responsibility for your actions is what separates us as individuals. This also shows that one has moved on from childhood into adulthood.
In this story it was obvious that the gentleman struggled with some things internally that effected him externally. Karen did her part and was willing to move on and continue to get to know the gentleman, but his lack of compassion, understanding, and affection would have only created more issues later on in their relationship.
Always remember when you are knowingly wrong be mature enough to admit that you are wrong. Be willing to work just as hard if not harder to right that wrong as you did when you created that wrong. Learn to admit this sooner rather than later. Lead with the apology don’t follow up with it. Forgiveness is nothing short of having a genuine and mutual understanding that the other party is sincere while they are asking for it.
@MRlst4life
